Note: Please use this friend link to read if you are not a Medium member.
Life’s big questions—"What is the meaning of life?” and “What is happiness?"—don't always bother me. But when life gets tough, they resurface, weighing heavily on my mind and making it hard to focus on immediate goals.
At one point, the uncertainty and emotional toll were so overwhelming that I had to take a year-long break to search for answers.
With a strong desire to comprehend and discover meaning, I spent months immersing myself in books and online courses. I didn’t want these questions to paralyze me every time life throws the inevitable challenges.
In this story, I’ll share my core lessons. These principles helped me navigate tough times with resilience and purpose.
These insights come from the following sources:
- Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
- Volumes of spiritual books: Ancient Hindu Philosophy, Bhagavad Gita, and Buddhism
Man’s Search for Meaning
I began my journey with Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor during World War II.
Every day in the concentration camp was a brutal struggle for survival. Frankl describes how prisoners would stand in a line and face a life-or-death decision—every single day:
1. Go to the right for labor and get a small piece of bread,
2. Or, to the left, which meant the gas chambers to become smoke in the air.
Even when he was sick, he had to look healthy enough to work. Even though his legs pain from walking barefoot in the snow, he should appear strong.
Many in the camps couldn’t bear the suffering. Nearly everyone saw dying in the gas chambers as a simple way to end their suffering. Yet Frankl survived by finding meaning in two things: work and love.
After reading Frankl’s narrative, my own challenges appeared to be less significant. His journey gave me a sense of motivation, but I still felt distant from his meaning in love and work. Whenever I thought about returning to my PhD, all I felt was anxiety, sleepless nights, and the fear of trauma as a future event.
Then I went to my childhood cure—spirituality. But this time, instead of learning to preach the God in different ways, I tried to get to the heart of spirituality.
Exploring the Origins: Spirituality
I began with, “Why do we get these existential questions in the first place?”.
I think the roots lie in religion, which introduced notions of “God” and “purpose of life.” In my view, a religion cannot survive without answering these questions. Sometimes, I wonder — did God create us, or did we create God?
As a science student, I may question the existence of God, yet I experience a positive energy when I visit the temple, church, or mosque. I also pray to God to be with me, especially in difficult times.
Anyway, spirituality gives us a way to understand good and bad, gives us hope during hard times, and lets us see life through a lens of morality and justice. In this way, spirituality helps many of us live with purpose, even if the paths differ across beliefs and religions.
Answering “Who am I?”
My interest in spirituality focuses on this essential question:
“Who am I?” or “What is the ultimate purpose of human life?”
I began exploring Hindu philosophy, an ancient, vast subject with many volumes of books. Of these, I resonated most with Advaita Vedanta, which teaches non-duality — the oneness of all beings, including God.
The crux of understanding our true selves is to separate what is eternal from what is temporary. It is answered in the ancient Taittiriya Upanishad through the concept of pancha koshas (five layers). The koshas are presented as layers that hide our true selves. Here is how each layer contributes to this understanding.
Read the following slowly and feel it for yourself.
Who am I?
“I am not this physical body, which constantly changes and ages. The body is nourished by food, and ultimately, it passes away. Since it is impermanent, it cannot be my true self.”
“I am not the vital energy (prana) that flows within my body and keeps me breathing. This energy leaves the body at death, showing it is temporary and cannot represent the eternal self.”
“I am not my mind or emotions, which constantly shift with desires, thoughts, and external influences. Since these are ever-changing, they too cannot be the essence of who I am.”
“I am not even my intellect, which evolves over time and is often clouded by ignorance.”
“I am not the blissful state that arises in moments of joy or deep sleep. While this bliss may feel closer to the true self, it is also temporary and cannot represent ultimate reality.”
So, who am I beyond these layers? Beneath all these koshas lies the Atman (soul)— the eternal, unchanging self that is above the physical, emotional, and mental fluctuations of life.
Connecting with the Atman is the ultimate goal, as it embodies what is permanent and unchange by the material world.
Ways to live a good life: Bhagavad Gita
The Bhagavad Gita offers four paths to attain this realization, each suited to different temperaments. One may pick one or in combinations.
- Jnana Yoga (The Path of Knowledge): This path involves self-reflection and intellectual inquiry to distinguish between the eternal and the temporary.
- Karma Yoga (The Path of Selfless Action): By performing duties without attachment to outcomes, we can live with a higher purpose.
- Dhyana Yoga (The Path of Meditation): Through meditation, we quiet the mind and cultivate inner peace, eventually achieving unity with ultimate reality.
- Bhakti Yoga (The Path of Devotion): This path is about connecting with all things and embodying oneness, including God. Swami Vivekananda and Mahatma Gandhi emphasized this sense of unity, believing that the same Atman resides in everyone.
Another way to live a good life: Buddhism
Buddhism attracted me with its practical approach, as it doesn’t center around idol worship but instead focuses on understanding suffering.
The Four Noble Truths—that life is suffering, that suffering is a result of desires, that suffering can end, and that the Eightfold Path which leads to enlightenment—contain the essence of Buddhism.
This path involves “right” practices: right understanding, right thought, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration.
To me, Buddhism’s message is simple: suffering arises from our endless desires, which disturb the natural tranquility within us. By following the Eightfold Path, we can cultivate peace and inner stability without needing to fulfill every desire.
Let's end this part here!
Reflecting on this journey, I felt that the spiritual path can bring inner peace and, even more, it offers the possibility of liberation.
But there was a catch: while I had come to understand these profound insights, living by them felt like an entirely different challenge. I realized that I needed a spiritual mentor, not a PhD advisor, to understand this journey better. For two months, I tried on my own, but without clear guidance, the way forward remained uncertain. Running to the mountains sounded tempting, but I had different plans with life.
However, I still use these understandings in my daily life, especially during the hard times. Also, I chose to keep exploring, looking to philosophy and psychology as a way to bridge these teachings with daily life.
Leave a Reply